總評:作者把濃濃的思念融進在淡淡的文字里,當“時間在指尖滑過”時便傾瀉出一地的縹緲,正如作者所言的“我喜歡一個人的夏天一個人的狂歡”將厚重的情愫化作一聲心靈的獨白,傳遞着內心的情感震蕩。從整體看,該習作的心情描寫很細緻,節奏把握得比較到位。但作為老師,我建議作者把身心放在學習上,有這麼好的天分,是可以寫出更好的抒情詩的。
點評人:我是雨欣
分類:初三作文| 字數:200字| 編輯:pp958
總評:作者把濃濃的思念融進在淡淡的文字里,當“時間在指尖滑過”時便傾瀉出一地的縹緲,正如作者所言的“我喜歡一個人的夏天一個人的狂歡”將厚重的情愫化作一聲心靈的獨白,傳遞着內心的情感震蕩。從整體看,該習作的心情描寫很細緻,節奏把握得比較到位。但作為老師,我建議作者把身心放在學習上,有這麼好的天分,是可以寫出更好的抒情詩的。
點評人:我是雨欣
作者:在原處,等你回來
All the parents hope their children will have a bright future . And they have differen...
For 17,it's time to say goodbye to my childhood,because 18 is coming. For 17,I have ma...
We should be a person who sticks to our ideals. We should be a person who does not cha...
Good afternoon, dear teachers. My name is Chen Xiyuan. I’m from Cuiwei primary school....
Today, Grandpa take me to the park.I see a foreigner.She is blue eyes and yellow hairs...
Many people can not correct the Internet.Some teenagers even with Internet Addiction.I...
Many people worry about learning English.I will tell you some ways to learn English.I ...
Here are my opoinions about how to get well with freinds.You should treat your friends...