doyouneedmyhelp?_600字

　　 In China we always think it is good to help the old people, but it is not always true in western countries.

　　 Everyone wishes to be young forever though it is impossible. If someday there is somebody offering you help because he or she regards you as an old person or thinks maybe you are not strong enough to do something, you may feel unhappy. So be careful! Next time when you meet an old foreigner and want to help him (or her), you should offer your help in a very polite way.

　　 At school, some of us also make the same mis-takes. When the teacher asks others questions, we help them before they ask us for help. I think it is wrong at least in two ways. First you take away the chance for others to practice; and second you are showing that you are better than others though maybe you do not mean it in that way. So you should learn how to be polite to others before you act.

　　 Good. You have made great progress in developing a passage. I am glad to see the sentence conherence in your last para. Better pay more attention to the relationship between sentences. It”s really wonderful to start your sentences with adverbials.